About Me

My wonderful husband died when I was 44 years old. Being widowed this young happens to less than 3% of married people. Writing through this loss one word at time helps me understand what I've lost and helps me continue to grow. It is how I have gradually recovered from such a severe loss. Research shows that you can benefit from taking just 15 minutes a day to write out your deepest feelings as a way of healing. On the right side of this blog, you'll see a tag for Exercises to Try. If you need some help knowing how to use writing to help heal yourself, I suggest you start there.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

My own words fail.

But here are some song lyrics that ring true with me these days....these days that feel like the first inkling of submitting to my real life...this new life....I'd say the shock is gone, the loose ends are being tied up, the memories being shared, catalogued, nailed into the wall. I can no longer deny my exhaustion or the slight taste of bitterness brought on by the once privileged life gone awry coupled with the huge responsibility of moving on anyway with grace. For someone whose life has always gone along pretty darn well I shake my own hand and say welcome to the human race. This is your introduction to grown up pain. For now I'll let myself be without goals, I'll let myself float along...........looking for fun where I can find it...it's been a long time since fun's been a priority. I tell myself that the fact that Natalie and Alec are happy and well despite their huge loss is enough of an accomplishment for now and I'll remember how Ken could always without fail take all my self-doubt, package it up, and throw it over his shoulder with a soothing smile.

Anyway...some lyrics that ring true with me these days
from Shawn Colvin's new album: These Four Walls

Fill Me up

Fill me up fill me up
I'm a long way from home
And I don't have a lot to say
Fill me up fill me up
Cause you're all that I've got
And I traveled a long long way

Cheer me up cheer me up
Cause I'm all alone
And I'm taking it day by day
Cheer me up cheer me up
Cause you're all that I've got
And I traveled a long long way


And from John Mayer's new album Continuum:

The Heart of Life

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good.