But here are some song lyrics that ring true with me these days....these days that feel like the first inkling of submitting to my real life...this new life....I'd say the shock is gone, the loose ends are being tied up, the memories being shared, catalogued, nailed into the wall. I can no longer deny my exhaustion or the slight taste of bitterness brought on by the once privileged life gone awry coupled with the huge responsibility of moving on anyway with grace. For someone whose life has always gone along pretty darn well I shake my own hand and say welcome to the human race. This is your introduction to grown up pain. For now I'll let myself be without goals, I'll let myself float along...........looking for fun where I can find it...it's been a long time since fun's been a priority. I tell myself that the fact that Natalie and Alec are happy and well despite their huge loss is enough of an accomplishment for now and I'll remember how Ken could always without fail take all my self-doubt, package it up, and throw it over his shoulder with a soothing smile.
Anyway...some lyrics that ring true with me these days
from Shawn Colvin's new album: These Four Walls
Fill Me up
Fill me up fill me up
I'm a long way from home
And I don't have a lot to say
Fill me up fill me up
Cause you're all that I've got
And I traveled a long long way
Cheer me up cheer me up
Cause I'm all alone
And I'm taking it day by day
Cheer me up cheer me up
Cause you're all that I've got
And I traveled a long long way
And from John Mayer's new album Continuum:
The Heart of Life
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good.
The lake is calm today and so peaceful. I expect turbulent waves will thrash against the rocky shoreline one of these days but for now, even for a moment, I will listen to my heartbeat and remember that I do make a difference and I am loved by so many.
ReplyDeleteYou probably don't know how much you help people with the eloquence of your words. You speak to so many people experiencing similar circumstances, and whether it's the insight you offer, objective observation, sadness, humor, pain, whatever it is, Jill, you are helping people. I know you'd rather have Ken back than a compliment - but thanks anyway. For all of your words.
ReplyDeleteIn my dream, I picture Ferdinand, steam snorting from his moist nose on a cool autumn day, inching closer to the wire, ready for the gate to spring open.
ReplyDelete