About Me

My wonderful husband died when I was 44 years old. Being widowed this young happens to less than 3% of married people. Writing through this loss one word at time helps me understand what I've lost and helps me continue to grow. It is how I have gradually recovered from such a severe loss. Research shows that you can benefit from taking just 15 minutes a day to write out your deepest feelings as a way of healing. On the right side of this blog, you'll see a tag for Exercises to Try. If you need some help knowing how to use writing to help heal yourself, I suggest you start there.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Waiting on the Runway

Your death grounded me,
Left me flightless, stuck,
Couldn't get out, had to stay here
Where the weather was unpredictable, rough.

I sat on the runway
Couldn't take off for years.

Even when it started to clear up,
I found I had forgotten how
To start my engine.
Not ready to fly, admittedly,
I examined the weeds
Along the cracked, cold, concrete.
I searched the sky for a sign,
Tripped, stumbled, lived in
The quiet, the silence
That fell when you disappeared.

Clearing, clearing.
There are several planes in front of me still,
A back up.
It feels like it will never be my turn
To lift off,
But I can see it coming.
It's in front of me now.

3 comments:

hourbeforedawn said...

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.

Suddenwidow said...

Wow, what a real description of grieving. I love the imagery. Though I'm not ready to even imagine taking off yet, I appreciate knowing that it's out there. Thank you for sharing.

Lizanne said...

hey Jill.
I'm so glad to read these posts...i miss seeing you and it makes me feel more connected..this summer we'll have some time together...I guess your girl rec'd the time from me this winter...youa re so lucky to have her...
thanks for the gift of your thoughts in these blogs..they move me..they make me think...thanks.