The purpose of this blog, The Heartbreak Diary, is to encourage people to write about their loss as a part of their recovery plan. Today's exercise asks you to create a brief, bullet-point list of how to love your dead spouse. Depending on your own unique circumstances, the lists will differ from person to person. I'd love to see your list! So quick...without too much thinking...give me fifteen ways to love the one who died.
Here's mine:
1. Think about him often.
2. Tell stories about him to anyone, even strangers.
3. See him in your children and then tell the children what you see.
4. Learn from your relationship, and even if it was an excellent one, as ours was, pledge to do even better the next time, if you're lucky enough to have a next time.
5. Really live your life and try to leave behind self-doubt, guilt, anxiety and fear. Live for him. Live for the life he had cut short. Live in honor of him. Live as well as you can so that you can teach his children that life is great (even when you lose big.)
6. Laugh alot.
7. Honor your good health, mental and physical. Don't take your sound body and mind for granted. Exercise your body, your mind, and your emotions. (One way to exercise your emotions is to write about them.)
8. Remember how he loved you and love yourself that way.
9. Write about him.
10. Listen to music he loved. Read books he loved. Do activities he loved.
11. Honor his values.
12. Love his parents and siblings and other relatives.
13. Try to get something positive out of a loss this huge. Try to live a better life.
14. Love life.
15. Remember your love and let it guide you to better days.
7 comments:
1. I would love to fight with him right now and tell him how mad I am at him for leaving me.
2. I would ask why?? Just why??
3. I would ask him why he chose me?
4. I would ask him who he will choose next.
5.I would tell him that even though I am mad at him right now, I forgive and let him go!
Thanks for this honest and heartfelt list! You have inspired me to think about some questions I have, and to write about them.
I would tell him how much I miss him. I know he didn't leave willingly. He fought cancer until the bitter, bitter end. I have no anger towards him, only love. I love him so much. He's been gone for 7 months and 20 days. I wouldn't ask him why, as it was not his choice. I do, however, question God. And I believe God should be big enough to handle it. I miss him so much.
Thank you for writing it out!
I would tell him that i shall always love him
I will ask him to send me signs
I would ask him whether he is alright and happy on the other side
I will try to smile more often
I would tell him that i shall always love him
I will ask him to send me signs
I would ask him whether he is alright and happy on the other side
I will try to smile more often
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