About Me

My wonderful husband died when I was 44 years old. Being widowed this young happens to less than 3% of married people. Writing through this loss one word at time helps me understand what I've lost and helps me continue to grow. It is how I have gradually recovered from such a severe loss. Research shows that you can benefit from taking just 15 minutes a day to write out your deepest feelings as a way of healing. On the right side of this blog, you'll see a tag for Exercises to Try. If you need some help knowing how to use writing to help heal yourself, I suggest you start there.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Let Your Grief Be Like a Storm

To get the value of a storm we must be out a long time and travel far in it, so that it may penetrate our skin and we be as it were turned inside out to it, and there be no part in us but is wet and weatherbeaten...

Henry David Thoreau


Your grief is not something to be judged or analyzed or compared. It may be understood by few or by no one. No, you are not taking too long, or dwelling on it, or selfish, or ungrateful. It is not your fault. Grief comes and goes. If you are sad now, you will get better. If you are joyful now, you will be sad with grief another time. Grief is as inevitable as snow in winter and rain in spring. It can ruin you. It can restore you.

When your grief comes, let it storm.

4 comments:

hourbeforedawn said...

AMEN! Thank you for this.

Jill Schacter said...

Lira, thank you for noticing. I wrote it for you after reading one of your recent posts! You inspired me.

Janice Badger Nelson said...

I really liked this.

I once met a man who talked to me about grief and said to 'lean into your grief, it will support you. Don't be afraid of the seemingly emptiness of it. Sometimes leaning into our grief can make us feel less alone.' I thought he was nuts, but after several losses, his words ring quite true.

As do yours.

Jill Schacter said...

Thanks Janice!